Well, what’s your point? I guess I’m supposed to laugh it off or maybe feel sorry for you or something?
Just because it is something you’re already used to does not mean I have to be calm about it when it happens to me. I’ve been hearing that a lot since the accident and it is probably going to be a new constant in life. So until I can learn to stop caring about what is new and unwelcome, I may not get this conspiratorial grin on my face when I learn it already happens to you.
Yes, it is easier to take it coming from friends and relatives. Such a statement isn’t incompatible with empathy or sympathy. It’s often followed up with words like “Must be hard/frustrating/ annoying/demoralizing” or “I’m sorry” or “I hear ya” or “Join the club” (I think it would be funny to see the java code for that sort of algorithm.) In my opinion they get a pass for like, the first 37 times they do that but once they cross that line…
It is another story completely when you get it from a member of the healthcare/rehabilitation team. If you’ve got a problem with something that wasn’t there before your injury I don’t think it does you any good to hear someone involved in restoring your life saying the equivalent of “Lighten up, Francis.” Whether it is realistic to expect to get something back isn’t the point and minimizing your distress doesn’t help you let it go.
I don’t need to feel like I don’t deserve to get back what I lost.
Culling out the points I want to make from the mess left by broad brushes is not easy for me when I’m this revved up. This post was a lot longer but I cut out the stuff beyond here. Maybe I’ll come back to this but I’m all mixed up in healthcare rationing, the egos of doctors and patients, insurance, politics… You name it. I even think the social ramifications of brown eggs got in there somewhere.